The kids are in bed and the house is quiet. Usually this would be the ideal time for some wine. That “pop” of refreshment and the sound of the red liquid gracing my glass and hitting my lips. Tonight, though, it’s licorice tea that warms me up in the New England winter.

Years ago in the midst of my drunken haze, I stumbled upon the word teetotaler meaning a person who doesn’t drink. I used to think it was weird not to drink. I used to think drinking made me powerful. It most certainly made me fearless. Tonight I embrace this title.

I’ve disconnected from the seas of mommy blogs on Facebook that celebrate the “mommy juice” and glamorize that glass of wine. It’s fine for those who can control it, but for me? I have no control over it. Sorry, Bota box, but my money is going to be spent somewhere else.

I love the quote that came with my tea tonight. Happiness is an art. It’s there. I’m feeling so much better tonight than I was this morning as I balled over self-pity and anger. How did I get here? How will I deal with life without my friend Merlot? What will I do?? Tonight, however, there is calm in knowing that I will do what’s necessary to find true happiness.

Published by Brain Wave Writer

I am a mother, wife, and a woman who is determined to create a safe place to put these swirling thoughts into a concrete place. As a little girl, I traveled alongside my mom and my dad who was in the Army. My mother was a great role model who taught me that being ordinary is not life's essence. The true route to happiness is to uncover one's potential and become passionate for helping others. Life is not a ritual of waking up to be ordinary, yet there is no harm in enjoying the simplicity of life either. My dad suffered trauma throughout his life. He turned to alcohol to numb his pain and remain an active breadwinner for our family. His passions were work and proving that he was worth his paycheck. Oh, this section is supposed to be about me? My identity is composed of where I've been and where I'm going. Those enigmatic experiences are too erratic to accurately describe "me". The point is that I'm an evolving woman on a journey to uncover how all the coincidences in life are more purposeful steps towards a whole person who will hopefully be a positive change in the world. In short, and typical fashion of identity, I'm a woman who answers to she/her and raising two daughters with a husband who flies for the military. I teach and study special education. My purpose, today, is to help others of all types of brains to learn their best. I hope to influence teachers to understand the complexities of the mind and become compassionate while effective in their practices.

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